Keep in mind that this is a public forum and that people come here from all walks of life with all sorts of backgrounds.

Try to stick to the topic of EMR's
(Yes, I know, some regulars post off topic but I tend to be a little more lenient here. I believe they maintain the ambiance of the forum, making it a comfortable place to be…. among friends. It hasn't gotten out of hand … yet. When it does you'll see these posts vanishing into thin air.)

Do NOT attack a poster for making a controversial post. If you must respond to a post you don't agree with, do so with an intelligent counter point as opposed to a direct attack on the poster.

Leave prejudices behind: Please recognize that the people who visit the forum come from diverse backgrounds. What is true for one person may very well be false for another. This is not to say that truth is relative, it is just to point out that each of us possesses our own unique world view. If someone posts a message, please accept the poster in a non-judgmental way. Responses should not attempt to minimize or judge the poster. Sarcastic responses have the effect of denigrating the poster. (Thanks Tim!)

I would ask that anyone considering himself or herself a forum regular do your best to be committed to the mission of the site. Be supportive of others. Resist the temptation to respond to a flame.

Remember that you always have the power to decide what you view and what you respond to. If you are upset with a particular poster's point of view, ignore it and any subsequent posts made by that person.

Have you noticed that as soon as ONE person attacks a flamer, several others always join in? Responding to any post, regardless of the manner you choose to respond, acknowledges and legitimizes the post. Why some inflammatory remarks produce a dozen equally ignorant remarks is beyond me. It only serves to encourage the flamer to continue flaming. The flamer wins because he/she is provoking a response; you lose because the forum fills up with garbage.

I have a very low tolerance for those who post inflammatory remarks. I have even less tolerance for those that make personal attacks.

General guidelines used to weed out the flames:

Obvious flames are deleted

Posts that attack people directly are deleted

Controversial posts are NOT deleted unless it is obvious that they are there only to instigate a flame war. I believe a controversial post, if written with intelligence, has it's place here on the forum. I would like to think that most controversial posts are helpful in that it offers an opportunity for people to analyze their own situation with another perspective. Even if all the answers are not found within such a post, it at least uncovers a glimmer of understanding.

Occasionally a single post will unleash a furious flood of responses. Have you ever noticed that posts that produce long strings are also the most controversial? Why is that? Maybe because the poster was hitting close to home?

As painful as some posts may be to some people, all EMR related topics should be brought out into the light and discussed…. good bad or otherwise, Remember, this may be the ONLY safe place people have to discuss their extramarital concerns

Again, it is up to the reader to interpret the post in his or her own individual way. It's important while reading these posts to consider the possible background behind it. Yes, there are posts that will tend to cause anger in some, fear in others. Such is the nature of the world of extramarital affairs. I suppose it's human nature to want to strike back at someone who has made a post that upsets you. The next time you are ready to post a scathing response, perhaps take a moment to imagine what sort of situation the poster may have been in when posting… try to imagine yourself in their situation.

By participating in Philanderers Forum you agree to the following terms and conditions: Philanderers International and/or it's employees or affiliates shall not assume any liability whatsoever and be held harmless for the contents and information contained in any post. If Philanderers International believes in it's sole discretion that any post may create liability for Philanderers International, we may take any actions that we believe are prudent or necessary to minimize or eliminate its potential liability, including the deletion of any post and shall not be liable for deletion of such a post. Any individual choosing to participate on the Philanderers Forum does so at his/her own risk.

Please note that there will be occasions when flames appear and are not dealt with for hours, sometimes days. I simply cannot monitor the forum 24 hours a day. I do count on the regulars to maintain their cool when the forum "heats up". (Thank you for that by the way… you all know who you are!) Be rest assured that offending posts are always removed as soon as I discover them.

In the past couple of months, I have taken to the practice of scanning headers for obvious flames, then picking at random the posts in the ensuing string. If the original post is off topic or not in the spirit of the forum, it is deleted..... taking the entire string with it. Unfortunately, some good posts further down in the string may be lost in the process. I do apologize for this but Network 54 has it's limitations and I am unable be more selective in this case. Understand that I do not enjoy seeing good posts go "out with the trash" but there must be some semblance of order and the delete button is the only tool available to me to "keep the peace"

Forum Regulars, I again thank you for your continued good manners and forum decorum. If it weren't for you, this place wouldn't be what it is today.
Newbies… welcome! Feel free to lurk or post, and above all, feel comfortable in knowing that this is a safe place to discuss, vent, and ask questions about any of your EMR concerns.

Thank you all for listening.

Doug
Your ever so humble Webmaster